I’ve been working like a madman these last few weeks. I promise there’s an article in the works about a short little camping trip I went on, and the value of little trips like that. For the meantime however, here’s another little thing I wrote sitting in the break room, wishing I was wandering again.
Places have always meant more to me than the people in them. They feel more inviting than the conversations that take part inside of them. I’d rather walk into a hotel lobby and find the spot that turns all the sounds into echos and just stand there. The places I go take parts of me and keep it, promising that next time I return I’ll get it back. I never do. They just take more, and promise greater dividends on my next pass through.
These places choose me and as soon as I’ve got the thought of a new place in my head I’ve got to be there. It tears me apart to sit still while this turbulence exists inside my head. I know I need to wait, and I count to ten and tell myself “patience” while my leg bounces in a vain attempt to pull me to the door. I want to go, be in motion, be heading to something new. I want my feet, or the wheels of whatever I can drive to be headed in whatever direction my mind is currently facing. It is abrupt, and the desires are shifting.
I have never wanted a constant. Why would anyone? Why would you try to bring someone along who would only burn up on reentry? Or become a cracked peg in one of the wheels. There, and holding up it’s end for the most part, but it’s still a loss in speed of some kind. I fear that breaking peg. I fear that constant north. North should exist on compasses and maps. It shouldn’t exist while you’re wandering to a place you don’t know the name of. Places like that don’t have time for attachments that can’t climb to the top of the hill with you.
This is something different. This is north in motion. North shifting it’s own heading. This new North is the constant that not only keeps up, but beats me to the top of the hill. For whatever this is, I’m glad to have had the magnetic pull if only for this quickly passing moment. You can’t keep heading north if north wants to shift its direction without you.